Ain't life grand?

We just got finished with a bloodbath at my company. Many many people let go, pretty much at random. The decisions came from the corporate office and to them we're all just a bunch of faceless names on a a sheet of paper. They show up, axe a bunch of people and move to the next location to repeat the carnage. It has not been a pleasant time for anyone.

I survived the reaping intact but now I have two jobs. Literally. They chopped one guy in my department and ALL of his work has landed squarely on my desk. Still just the one paycheck though. Two jobs to one check is a bad ratio. I'm going to have to go ahead and come out firmly against it.

Bleh. I'll make it work and get it organized to within an inch of its life so that no one will miss him (on a work level anyway, I assume some people will miss him personally. I hear that's what normal people do.) I'm already being told what a wonderful job I'm doing by all and sundry and that I'm already doing his job better than he did. This doesn't fill me with confidence though. Considering that the last bunch of folks to get axed were mostly picked using the throw darts at a list of names method does it matter how well I do my job?

Companies ask what happened to employee loyalty. That shit works both ways, people.

Re: Elections

Dear Hillary Clinton,

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Sincerely,

Me

One must wonder how one the biggest, most irrational egos I've ever seen deals with having to admit that it lost. I bet there were tears. Huge hysterical tears. Hehehe.

Where the hell have I been?

Yikes. It's been a minute or two, huh? I haven't been on hardly at all the last month or so. I've been trying to catching up on a combination of reading, writing and DVD watching. While I've been successful at that I've been neglecting this. BOOOOO!!!

Indeed. Boo.

I think this is the part where I make some halfassed comment about trying harder and doing better and similar. So yeah. I'll get right on that.

I do actually have some stuff put down on here so fear not ye faithful few. More sextacular words by me are forthcoming.

Who put this on?

It's on random!

I haven't updated for a ridiculous amount of time but I have good reasons, none of which I'm going to share. Neener.

How miserable do you think the very first gay person was? Think about it.

Did you ever notice that every time a rock station does a promo for itself it ALWAYS goes like this:
"We play the rock!"
*snippet from song you like*
"The rock!!"
*snippet from song you really like*
"THE ROCK!!"
*snippet from song you love*
THE ROCK!! NOW!!"
*plays absolutely shitty song you hate in its entirety*

I'm given to understand that I really am engaged now. I'm going to need some of you to attend or my side of the audience is going to look pretty pathetic. I'll keep you posted.

It bugs the ever lovin' shit out of me that Saturday is called Saturday. It completely clashes with the other days of the week. A day each for the sun and moon. Fine. Then days, in order, for Tyr, Odin, Thor and Frigg. ALL Norse. Then a day for Saturn. A roman titan. What the fuck, man? I demand that this be changed before it causes my head to explode. I've been stressing over it since childhood and I can't take much more. Write to your congressman.

It really pisses me off when people end every other sentence with "right now." I am so tired right now. I am really upset right now. I am so confused right now. Listen people, we all understand that you're talking about the present. If you just say "I am so tired." we won't assume you meant last week or three day from now. Y'see the fact that you said "I am" indicates the present tense. We don't need further clarification. Knock it the fuck off. Right now.

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

Did you ever notice that if a piece of chocolate melts and then sets up again it tastes completely different? What's that all about?

Stop pronouncing the W in sword. It makes you sound like a moron and it pisses me off. Don't ask me why because I don't know, it just does.

Have you ever stared at the sky until it frightens you? Try it, it's awesome.

So far this year I have seen 53 movies from credits to credits. I have no idea how many partials. I watch a lot of partials.

I put my pants on both legs at once. Out of spite.

Once is happenstance, twice is coincidence...

How is it that when I sign another blood pact with Taco about writing that I get an email telling me that one of my favorite small press publishers is taking applicants now for its yearly boot camp for writers? I suspect polar bears are involved somehow, as they usually are. I will now try to find ways to make fire be the answer I'm looking for.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled web browsing.

What do you know, I still had some drool left.

Last weekend was the spring edition of Horrorfind weekend. You might remember me mentioning it last year at about this time and it's still awesome. How awesome? Three words:

George. Fucking. Romero.

The right thinking portion of the audience understands. The rest of you are in serious danger of being dead to me. Either way I am pleased to say that I have touched and talked to George Romero (who is WAY taller than I thought he was). Not only that but there were cast reunions for all five of his Dead movies. The front of my NotLD DVD is covered with writing. I can neither confirm nor deny that I've done disturbing things with it since the mass signing. I'd wash my hands after handling it if I were you though.

Anyway, day 1 was all about George and company and spending what amounted to an entire week's pay in the dealer's room. This time out it was heavily loaded toward the movie end of it though I did score a few good books. The highlight of day 1 was stopping by the Borderlands Press table. They're always there and I always buy something. BP is run by Thomas Monteleone who is also a writer I like quite a bit. As I was browsing we struck up a conversation. Not me drooling on him but a real conversation. We talked about books and movies and similar. We agreed on virtually everything and he suggested some things for me to track down that he thought I should be aware of. Bonus: he also hates a lot of the same people I do. Some of you know who public enemy number 1 is and he doesn't like him either. I was filled with joy. We spent a few minutes mocking him in particular. We chatted for almost an hour all together. He's a really nice and interesting guy on top of being a good writer. He also gave me some writing advice free of charge and that's never a bad thing considering the source.

Day 2 started with a screening of NotLD. I'd never seen it on a screen bigger than a TV so this was grabtacular indeed. As usual it made me want to find and destroy zombies but in a much bigger way. The big screen makes a great thing even better. If you ever have the chance, jump on it.

This was followed by another lap around the dealer's room then back over to the theater for some sneak previews and panels with indie film makers. Always fun. This led me into the readings. I love the readings. Hearing a writer read his story aloud, if he is a good storyteller, is a real treat for me. Plus the Q & A's are usually good for at least a little nugget or two.

Ah sweet Horrorfind. Where else can you meet Chainsaw Sally, dressed in the full get up including the Oh Shit I'm Trying And Failing To Hold These Things In shirt and find that she's awesome and very happy indeed to sign your DVD? Of course, being born the day after me in the same year means she's the appropriate sign to contain the awesome but still.

Between this and meeting James Morrow my weekend was packed with awesome. I feel obligated to report that I smiled. Apparently numerous times and for fairly lengthy stretches at a time. I'm given to understand it was something worth seeing.

Idol worship? Don't mind if I do!

As some of you may know, I am a voracious reader. I read more than anyone I know or have ever known. When asked to describe myself using only one word the word I pick most often is bookworm. I love books quite a lot. If my ability to read were ever taken from me I would likely throw myself in front of a train or off a very tall building. I tell you this to give you some idea of how great my night was.

I got to meet my favorite living writer tonight. This is equivalent to a religious zealot getting to meet, at the very least, St. Peter/Moses/Mohammed/you get the point.

The writer in question is James Morrow. As I said he is my favorite living writer. This puts him at the top of a very long list. To say I love his books is understating it. When I hear a new one of coming out I ride a wave of bliss for several days. You can imagine what it's like when I actually lay hands on them. Of course I buy them immediately but I don't start reading them right away. Having a James Morrow book I haven't read for the first time yet is an event and has to be savored. This last time I lasted almost a week. It was a lovely kind of agony while it lasted.

Anyway, I was sniffing around online and found that he was doing some signings in support of the new book. The closest stop was over 100 miles away. I instantly put in for that day off work and planned to attend.

You know how sometimes you might wonder what famous types are like in person? You might get nervous about meeting them in case they're raging assholes and you lose all respect for them. No such problem this night. I was the first one there and when he arrived I was still sitting in the reading area by myself. He walked right up and shook my hand and introduced himself. I am pleased to report that I neither fainted nor soiled myself. Huzzah! Throughout the event he was witty, warm, highly intelligent and quick to smile, basically exactly the way I hoped he would be except for the part where we become lifelong friends and he puts me in his next book.

There was a reading and then a Q & A. I managed to ask a question that I think wasn't too annoying or stupid and have him give an answer that was far better than the question deserved. It was, in a word, awesome.

I don't know if it's worth mentioning or not but it occurs to me that my last post was about the very sad death of Arthur C. Clarke and this one is about James Morrow. I bought my first James Morrow book because of a great blurb on it from Arthur C. Clarke.

Several things jumped out at me and will stick with me but the one thing that has now made me respect the man himself at the same level that I respect his work, and something that would make any right thinking person switch from religion to scientific humanism, was this quote about people, children in particular:

"I believe in original virtue as opposed to original sin."

That alone was worth the trip.