So last year, by my count, I saw 128 movies counting only those movies I saw from start to finish in their entirety. That's actually less than normal but not too bad as far as totals go, I guess. Anyway, here are some of the best.
Let's start with the obvious and say The Dark Knight. Believe the hype. It really was as good as people say and Heath Ledger was flat out brilliant in it. There was nothing bad about it. Writing, directing, acting, editing, music, it's the total package. They even replaced the bad actress from the first one with an actual actress and filled out the only soft spot from the first one. Whether you like comics or not, whether you like Batman or not, you will like this movie.
Next up is Tropic Thunder. Not only is it hysterical, it skewers every single level of the Hollywood machine from directors, actors, agents, producers, FX guys, writers, you name it. Think about it like this, this movie is so funny it made people laugh at a white man in blackface.
Doubt is a powerful story with wonderful acting though I include the disclaimer that I am a huge Philip Seymour Hoffman fan.
Gran Torino is Eastwood displaying his prodigious acting talent. He got some flack for playing a politically incorrect character but I applaud his realistic effort and love it top to bottom.
In Bruges is a movie everyone should see but very few have. Hopefully all the awards it was nominated for will cause more people to seek it out. I love black comedy and this one is black as pitch with sharp writing and acting. Go rent it. Now.
George Romero got back on track after the deeply disappointing Land of the Dead with Diary of the Dead. Yes it's a zombie movie but unlike the crappy ones, it's not about zombies. This entry is about the modern person's inability to disconnect from the constant stream of INPUT. Internet, cell phones, 24 hour cable news, the neverending slam of information that people just can turn away from. Hot damn it's good. Welcome back George.
It wasn't a great year for horror but there was the aforementioned Diary of the Dead, Cloverfield, The Orphanage, Let the Right One In and REC (remade in the U.S. as the vastly inferior Quarantine). On the B-horror front there was Otis and Zombies! Zombies! Zombies! which hit the B bone just the way you like it.
It was a decnt year for the R rated comedy, which I appreciate. I'm a grown person and I like grown person comedies. Pay attention Hollywood. Tropic Thunder and In Bruges were joined by Pineapple Express, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Zach and Miri Make a Porno. Five isn't a huge number but how often do five good R comedies drop in one year?
It also wasn't a great year for indies as far as I'm concerned. Previous years have been much better but this year did have Son of Rambow, Smart People, Be Kind Rewind and my favorite Teeth. Teeth makes female empowerment so empowered it's downright frightening. See it. Soon.
Other notables include Burn After Reading (another solid entry in the Coen brothers army of fine films), Iron Man (which was Downey Jr's big comeback even though he's been in some damn fine movies in the last three or four years), Hellboy II (visually stunning if nothing else), Run Fatboy Run and The Bank Job which I didn't think I would like but I did.
I haven't seen Frost/Nixon, The Wrestler, Revolutionary Road or The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yet (soon though) but I hear very good things about them so they probably deserve a spot on your To View list.
And while Heath Ledger got all the press we should all remember that we lost Paul Newman last year. One of the last remaining titans has fallen. They don't make them like him anymore and he will be sorely missed. We also lost Chuck Heston, Roy Scheider, Isaac Hayes, Sydney Pollack, Cyd Charisse and Eartha Kitt along with many others I forget off the top of my head. Rest in peace, all.
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
Monday, January 5, 2009
Reading '08
I wasn't going to do it but Taco will yell at me if I don't so I decided to do much shorter versions than last year and call it even. I'm combining books and comics this time because reading is reading and if you're one of those people that stick your nose up at comics then I don't want your sorry ass reading this anyway. So without further ado, here are my thoughts on all things reading in 2008.
The best reading last year was probably Philip Roth's Indignation. I read one review that called it an interesting failure which is funny because Roth is probably the greatest living American writer and that critic is, well, not. If this is him failing then more people should fail at writing. If you've never read Roth then obviously you have homework now.
Hot on the heels of that was Ed Brubaker's Criminal. If anything, the series gets better the more he puts out. If you like words like pulp, noir, hard case and femme fatale or just like tremendous writing then you'll love this.
Also pick up Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley. I love Buckley to pieces and if you've ever wondered what would happen if a U.S. president nominated a television show judge for a spot on the Supreme Court because he's pissed off at the senate, and really who hasn't, then wonder no more.
The best nonfiction was easily The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America by David Hajdu. You don't even have to like comics to like this book, that's how good it is.
The best YA book was Neil Gaiman's Graveyard Book just edging out Terry Pratchett's Nation. Both are superb but Gaiman channeled his inner Kipling and produced a book that was flat out amazing.
It seemed to me to be a particularly strong year for first time novelists last year. The best was probably The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes. Other very good first novels that have me looking forward to more from their writers were The Witch's Trinity by Erika Mailman, The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff and A Good and Happy Child by Justin Evans.
Other very worthy '08 releases included:
The Duma Key - Stephen King
The Ghost in Love - Jonathan Carroll
Buffy Season 8 - Joss Whedon
Grendel: Behold the Devil - Matt Wagner
Sharp Teeth - Toby Barlow
2666 - Roberto Bolano
Little Brother - Cory Doctorow
There were obviously many other things published last year that were worth reading but I'm trying to keep it short. If you want recommendations on anything in any genre, just ask.
I also decided to make a note of things that slipped under my radar from previous (though recent) years that I caught up with last year and are more than worth your time. They include:
Absurdistan - Gary Shteyngart
Special Topics in Calamity Physics - Marisha Pessl
An Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England - Brock Clarke
The Brief History of the Dead - Kevin Brockmeier
We also mourn the passing of two giants in 2008. Arthur C. Clarke and David Foster Wallace, rest in peace.
The best reading last year was probably Philip Roth's Indignation. I read one review that called it an interesting failure which is funny because Roth is probably the greatest living American writer and that critic is, well, not. If this is him failing then more people should fail at writing. If you've never read Roth then obviously you have homework now.
Hot on the heels of that was Ed Brubaker's Criminal. If anything, the series gets better the more he puts out. If you like words like pulp, noir, hard case and femme fatale or just like tremendous writing then you'll love this.
Also pick up Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley. I love Buckley to pieces and if you've ever wondered what would happen if a U.S. president nominated a television show judge for a spot on the Supreme Court because he's pissed off at the senate, and really who hasn't, then wonder no more.
The best nonfiction was easily The Ten Cent Plague: The Great Comic Book Scare and How It Changed America by David Hajdu. You don't even have to like comics to like this book, that's how good it is.
The best YA book was Neil Gaiman's Graveyard Book just edging out Terry Pratchett's Nation. Both are superb but Gaiman channeled his inner Kipling and produced a book that was flat out amazing.
It seemed to me to be a particularly strong year for first time novelists last year. The best was probably The Somnambulist by Jonathan Barnes. Other very good first novels that have me looking forward to more from their writers were The Witch's Trinity by Erika Mailman, The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff and A Good and Happy Child by Justin Evans.
Other very worthy '08 releases included:
The Duma Key - Stephen King
The Ghost in Love - Jonathan Carroll
Buffy Season 8 - Joss Whedon
Grendel: Behold the Devil - Matt Wagner
Sharp Teeth - Toby Barlow
2666 - Roberto Bolano
Little Brother - Cory Doctorow
There were obviously many other things published last year that were worth reading but I'm trying to keep it short. If you want recommendations on anything in any genre, just ask.
I also decided to make a note of things that slipped under my radar from previous (though recent) years that I caught up with last year and are more than worth your time. They include:
Absurdistan - Gary Shteyngart
Special Topics in Calamity Physics - Marisha Pessl
An Arsonist's Guide to Writer's Homes in New England - Brock Clarke
The Brief History of the Dead - Kevin Brockmeier
We also mourn the passing of two giants in 2008. Arthur C. Clarke and David Foster Wallace, rest in peace.
Saturday, December 27, 2008
Almost went Toby on myself
So the end of the year brought with it the usual stress and irritation. This year there was a twist. Life decided that I'm just not going through enough. I apparently don't have enough things to be concerned about or to get stressed over. Life, it seems, does not take the holidays off.
A few days a go I woke up in the morning in pain. My foot was killing me. What the hell? It was fine when I went to bed. Had I been sleepwalking and bashed it on something? No time to dwell on it, I had to go to work and it wasn't too terrible a pain. It hurt all that day and night and hurt still when I woke up the next day.
Odd.
The day after that, Christmas day (spit) it got worse. Much worse. It started out about the same but during dinner it started to get worse. After dinner it continued to turn up the pain dial until it reached the point that I can really only describe as unrelenting torment. I got home and took off my sock to find my foot swollen like an overstuffed sausage.
Great.
Yesterday I called my doctor and made an appointment. This meant having to squeeze my disturbingly tumescent foot into a shoe. Even prying it open as far as I could it took me a long time to put it on. The pain dial turned itself up another tic. I get there and have to take the shoe off (wince) for her to see.
Do you eat steak?
Yes.
Seafood?
Of course.
Gout.
...shit.
Why didn't anyone tell me it hurt like this? Someone I know had to have known. Bastards. Anyway I put the shoe back on (wince, quiet moan) and hobbled, yes I was full on hobbling at this point, to go for the X-ray she wanted just in case. Shoe back off (groan), X-Ray, shoe back on (snarl, quiver) and finally home. No red meat, no seafood and no beer until it goes away.
Oh joy.
Here I am today, foot still swollen, wondering if people will still ask me next year why I hate this time of year so much. Maybe I'll smash their feet with a sledge hammer and ask them if that improves their mood or makes it worse.
A few days a go I woke up in the morning in pain. My foot was killing me. What the hell? It was fine when I went to bed. Had I been sleepwalking and bashed it on something? No time to dwell on it, I had to go to work and it wasn't too terrible a pain. It hurt all that day and night and hurt still when I woke up the next day.
Odd.
The day after that, Christmas day (spit) it got worse. Much worse. It started out about the same but during dinner it started to get worse. After dinner it continued to turn up the pain dial until it reached the point that I can really only describe as unrelenting torment. I got home and took off my sock to find my foot swollen like an overstuffed sausage.
Great.
Yesterday I called my doctor and made an appointment. This meant having to squeeze my disturbingly tumescent foot into a shoe. Even prying it open as far as I could it took me a long time to put it on. The pain dial turned itself up another tic. I get there and have to take the shoe off (wince) for her to see.
Do you eat steak?
Yes.
Seafood?
Of course.
Gout.
...shit.
Why didn't anyone tell me it hurt like this? Someone I know had to have known. Bastards. Anyway I put the shoe back on (wince, quiet moan) and hobbled, yes I was full on hobbling at this point, to go for the X-ray she wanted just in case. Shoe back off (groan), X-Ray, shoe back on (snarl, quiver) and finally home. No red meat, no seafood and no beer until it goes away.
Oh joy.
Here I am today, foot still swollen, wondering if people will still ask me next year why I hate this time of year so much. Maybe I'll smash their feet with a sledge hammer and ask them if that improves their mood or makes it worse.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
He's got pie in his eyebrow...
I wish my brain had a mouth so it could actually vomit once in a while.
Popcorn flavored jelly beans are fucking gross. Seriously. You'd think it'd be great. Jelly beans! Yay! Popcorn! Yay! Then you chew the jelly bean and it tastes. Like. Popcorn. So nasty.
OK stop reading and go get a dictionary. I'll wait. OK, now look up the word decimate. Got it? Read it. Twice. Done? Great. Now stop fucking misusing it you nerve wracking bastards!
Fuck Michigan.
Do dropped text messages go to the same place that odd socks and lost pens go? Maybe it's more compartmentalized. Divisions of labor and whatnot. They all go to the main area together and then get divided up and stored individually. Either way, can I get all my shit back? Please?
So I was reading the paper as is my wont (because I'm not miserable enough obviously) and I come across an article about, wait for it, competitive yoga. Think about that. Competitive yoga. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm more enlightened than you! Eat it bitch! What's next, competitive Judaism? Shalom, motherfucker!
Do amputees get drunk faster than normal folk?
Nascar. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Two things that do not go well together: Toothpaste and orange juice. Make a note.
Y'know what would be awesome? If Rob Zombie wrote a biography of Pee Wee Herman.
Rock me sexy Jesus.
I've been listening to a lot of Pink Floyd and Judas Priest lately. A lot. Now I can't decide whether to dress in leather head to toe and ponder my own sanity or sodomize my inner child. Tough call.
Popcorn flavored jelly beans are fucking gross. Seriously. You'd think it'd be great. Jelly beans! Yay! Popcorn! Yay! Then you chew the jelly bean and it tastes. Like. Popcorn. So nasty.
OK stop reading and go get a dictionary. I'll wait. OK, now look up the word decimate. Got it? Read it. Twice. Done? Great. Now stop fucking misusing it you nerve wracking bastards!
Fuck Michigan.
Do dropped text messages go to the same place that odd socks and lost pens go? Maybe it's more compartmentalized. Divisions of labor and whatnot. They all go to the main area together and then get divided up and stored individually. Either way, can I get all my shit back? Please?
So I was reading the paper as is my wont (because I'm not miserable enough obviously) and I come across an article about, wait for it, competitive yoga. Think about that. Competitive yoga. Are you fucking kidding me? I'm more enlightened than you! Eat it bitch! What's next, competitive Judaism? Shalom, motherfucker!
Do amputees get drunk faster than normal folk?
Nascar. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Two things that do not go well together: Toothpaste and orange juice. Make a note.
Y'know what would be awesome? If Rob Zombie wrote a biography of Pee Wee Herman.
Rock me sexy Jesus.
I've been listening to a lot of Pink Floyd and Judas Priest lately. A lot. Now I can't decide whether to dress in leather head to toe and ponder my own sanity or sodomize my inner child. Tough call.
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Just like the Pilgrims!
So tomorrow is Thanksgiving which is, I'm told, not just for huge turkey dinners and football. Doesn't sound right to me but I'll go with it for now. So in the spirit of the holiday I will put aside my usual angry ranting and share some positivity with you.
So far this year I have been thankful for:
Books that set the mind on fire.
Movies that demand you watch them over and over.
Music that can never be loud enough.
Comic books good enough to be given in college English courses.
Every lunatic (re: all of you) at the Preserve. I have extra holiday Poje for you all.
Boobs so big they make every shirt look tight. Truly thou art blessed and thanks for sharing.
Stick nun porn and long distance sauce Not It.
The wonderful bead man, Artie C, that protects me while I sleep.
Shotgun Sodomy DVDs.
Pictures of nuns in skintight rubber.
Godzilla.
Football. Football. Football.
HDTV.
Football on HDTV.
Laughing so hard it hurts your ribs.
The Daily Beast.
Lolcats.
xkcd
Ricky Gervais.
The insane fun of the Wii.
Yuengling.
Joss Whedon.
The end of Dubya's reign of stupidity being in sight at last.
Hot girl on girl action.
The four day work week. YAY!
Stale peanut butter fudge.
The divine Ray Lewis.
Chicks that know as much about sports as I do. It's fucking hot.
And obviously my family and friends.
Even though I tend to hate life and most of the things in it I can still find things to be thankful for. Weird, right? I know. Anyway for those of you that fill me with the warm fuzzies, I'm thankful for you. So thanks.
So far this year I have been thankful for:
Books that set the mind on fire.
Movies that demand you watch them over and over.
Music that can never be loud enough.
Comic books good enough to be given in college English courses.
Every lunatic (re: all of you) at the Preserve. I have extra holiday Poje for you all.
Boobs so big they make every shirt look tight. Truly thou art blessed and thanks for sharing.
Stick nun porn and long distance sauce Not It.
The wonderful bead man, Artie C, that protects me while I sleep.
Shotgun Sodomy DVDs.
Pictures of nuns in skintight rubber.
Godzilla.
Football. Football. Football.
HDTV.
Football on HDTV.
Laughing so hard it hurts your ribs.
The Daily Beast.
Lolcats.
xkcd
Ricky Gervais.
The insane fun of the Wii.
Yuengling.
Joss Whedon.
The end of Dubya's reign of stupidity being in sight at last.
Hot girl on girl action.
The four day work week. YAY!
Stale peanut butter fudge.
The divine Ray Lewis.
Chicks that know as much about sports as I do. It's fucking hot.
And obviously my family and friends.
Even though I tend to hate life and most of the things in it I can still find things to be thankful for. Weird, right? I know. Anyway for those of you that fill me with the warm fuzzies, I'm thankful for you. So thanks.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
I have one too and it's not all that special
I'd like to share a conversation I was involved in with you, mostly so I can share my pain. Please read to the end as it doesn't go where you think it's going to go.
Me (Seeing something about Sarah Palin): God, I can't stand her. I'm so glad they didn't get elected I can't even tell you.
Woman (who is overly religious): Me too. She shouldn't be anywhere near the White House.
Me: I know! She's such an imbecile! She comes off like a total airhead and that "I'm just a regular soccer mom" schtick is such an obvious put on it makes me physically ill.
Woman: Plus she's a woman.
Me: ...what?
Woman: Women shouldn't hold public office especially vice president or president. She should be home taking care of her family.
Me: What!? (Followed by an angry tirade against this completely ignorant and utterly offensive line of thinking.)
Here I have someone, a woman no less, telling me that no woman should be an elected official because she has no right to not be at home being a servant to her family. Actually no, servants get paid. It was her religion telling her this. Her stupid fucking religion. She's married to a worthless piece of shit by the way who she thinks is better than her based solely on the fact that he has, allegedly, a dick.
The pure ignorance of this line of thinking makes my head hurt. It robs me of coherent argument and leaves me red faced and shouting. Of course I already knew that religion poisons minds but when it leaps out at you when you aren't expecting it in ways that raise the bar for offensive stupidity it's like discovering it for the first time all over again.
I don't give a fuck what your magic book says, it's wrong. Not wrong like you like a band I don't and I call you wrong. Wrong like you saying the sky is brown or water is dry or Pi is 7.1972645. Wrong. Not opinion. Fact. You are wrong. For the love of all things how can people still think this way in the 21st century?
Eventually I remembered my rule and ended the back and forth. It's a good rule so I'll share it with you again. Arguing with religious people is like taking a head first run at a brick wall. When it's over your head will hurt and the wall won't have noticed you were even there.
Thank you, religion, for fucking up yet another otherwise intelligent person with your poisonous ignorance.
Me (Seeing something about Sarah Palin): God, I can't stand her. I'm so glad they didn't get elected I can't even tell you.
Woman (who is overly religious): Me too. She shouldn't be anywhere near the White House.
Me: I know! She's such an imbecile! She comes off like a total airhead and that "I'm just a regular soccer mom" schtick is such an obvious put on it makes me physically ill.
Woman: Plus she's a woman.
Me: ...what?
Woman: Women shouldn't hold public office especially vice president or president. She should be home taking care of her family.
Me: What!? (Followed by an angry tirade against this completely ignorant and utterly offensive line of thinking.)
Here I have someone, a woman no less, telling me that no woman should be an elected official because she has no right to not be at home being a servant to her family. Actually no, servants get paid. It was her religion telling her this. Her stupid fucking religion. She's married to a worthless piece of shit by the way who she thinks is better than her based solely on the fact that he has, allegedly, a dick.
The pure ignorance of this line of thinking makes my head hurt. It robs me of coherent argument and leaves me red faced and shouting. Of course I already knew that religion poisons minds but when it leaps out at you when you aren't expecting it in ways that raise the bar for offensive stupidity it's like discovering it for the first time all over again.
I don't give a fuck what your magic book says, it's wrong. Not wrong like you like a band I don't and I call you wrong. Wrong like you saying the sky is brown or water is dry or Pi is 7.1972645. Wrong. Not opinion. Fact. You are wrong. For the love of all things how can people still think this way in the 21st century?
Eventually I remembered my rule and ended the back and forth. It's a good rule so I'll share it with you again. Arguing with religious people is like taking a head first run at a brick wall. When it's over your head will hurt and the wall won't have noticed you were even there.
Thank you, religion, for fucking up yet another otherwise intelligent person with your poisonous ignorance.
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