Maybe it's me. Maybe I've been explaining it wrong. Maybe in the middle of explaining it I have, unknowingly, started speaking Swahili. Or maybe everyone else is a fucking moron.
Yeah, probably that last one.
OK, once more from the top for everyone who can't seem to understand simple concepts like fire is hot or stabbing yourself in the face with a jagged pointy stone will hurt you. I'll try to speak slowly and not use too many big words.
It's not funny to purposely get on other people's nerves. Not funny. Not. Fucking. Funny. If you do something that you KNOW is going to piss someone off, you're not funny. You're a fucking nimrod who isn't smart enough to have a real sense of humor. You know how I know it's not funny? I used my psychic powers to read the minds of every single person on the entire planet and it was a unanimous vote. Not one of the people on this planet finds it amusing in even the smallest way when someone tries to irritate them. You know why? BECAUSE YOU'RE FUCKING IRRITATING THEM YOU MOUTH BREATHING, BRAIN DAMAGED SHIT STAIN!
How the fuck do you not understand this? If you do something that you know I hate or know pushes my buttons why in the name of all things great and small would I find that funny? How fucking ignorant do you have to be to think that I would? What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you retarded? Would you think it was funny if I was doing something you hate to you? No, you wouldn't. Because you fucking hate it! And making the drooling twit standing next to your dumb ass laugh doesn't count. He's clearly as fucking idiotic as you are and if you started pissing him off, he'd stop laughing. Because it's not funny! And when your goal is to piss me off and I get pissed off how the fuck did you not see that coming? Why do you always act surprised? You were trying to piss me off! It worked! Now you want to be upset when I start yelling at you? Do the world a favor and go choke on something.
For fuck's sake, I'm not trying to explain String Theory to you after you've taken a sharp blow to the head. I'm saying things that anyone who doesn't expect a hug and a medal every time they run four steps should fucking know.
Fire hot. Face stab hurts. Pissing people off isn't the same as being funny.
Look, if your arsenal of humor is a stockpile of shit that annoys other people, you aren't funny. Acknowledge it, admit it, embrace it and fucking stop trying to fucking be it. You're. Not. Funny. Get over it and shut the fuck up.
The next one that does it is getting punched in the mouth. That's going to be my version of your kind of humor. How hard do you think you'll be laughing with a broken jaw?
4 comments:
Are you dense? Are you fucking retarded? Do you know who he is? He's the GODDAMN COYOTE!
This is way more than completely random, but I read your all caps sentence as "you're fucking irritating them IN THE mouth."
It made me laugh a lot.
An additional note:
Saying, "I'm just joking" is not a magical incantation that will turn the unfunny stupidity into comedy gold. Nor will it protect teeth from an overhand right that I have been told "feels like getting hit in the face with a Buick."
So punch the crap out of them and then say, "Sorry. I was just joking."
See how they like it then.
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