Happy New Year

So I decided to give this a try after I finally made it to being the last person without a blog, journal or myspace account. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, on to the post:

So it's January 1st 2007. Ah the first day of a new year. So full of possibilities and chances for fresh starts and new outlooks on life. For other people this is, not so much for me. Lemme 'splain.

So I'm at a social gathering to ring in the new year. It's a relatively small gathering and there are no people there that I hate so that's a good start. We sit, we joke, we laugh, at some point we played some poker, I won some money and all was well. Eventually there was a countdown, a small cheer and exchanges of good will and good wishes for the forthcoming year. More joking and laughing and a few hours later I decide to call it night. If only it were so simple.

Weighted down with my new winnings and carrying my collection of well wishes on my back I begin the short drive home. It was raining on and off all night and was back on during the trip. It's no more than 10 or 15 minutes from where I was to where I was going and my hopes were, well, not high but then not as low as usual so that was a small victory. With the windshield wipers keeping almost perfect time with the music and my new set of tires gripping the road, I'm enjoying the drive. Very few people on the road with me and I'm getting every light green. I do love green lights so very much.

"We'll not impede your progress," they say. "Off you go and Godspeed good traveller," I can almost hear them call when I go by. I don't like to think that they had malevolent intent on their minds. I want to believe that they were just being extra friendly to celebrate the new year in the only way they have. I really want to believe that.

As I come over the small rise to the last light before my turn onto my street I see that it too is green. "Come ahead then," it tells me. "You're almost there. Just through me and one minute more until you are home." I mentally call a greeting to this thoughtful director of traffic as I approach.

Who is this fellow staggering into the crosswalk, I think, right on the heels of this. Ah, never mind. He sees me and has stopped crossing against the light.

Scratch that. Here he comes...

BOOM

So, yeah, I hit him. Hit him good, too. It was kind of like shuffleboard except I didn't push a puck so much as ram a drunken moron and send him skidding down the wet road. He comes to a stop with his shirt and coat around his head and his goofy white butt sticking up in the air. My first thought was something like, "..." then a shake of the head and "...". Then, in a clear affront to logic and reason, the guy stands up. I look around and see another person already dialing a cell phone and this guy makes a beeline for that guy. I roll down the window and the guy on the phone tells me he's taking care of the calls (turns out he's an off duty detective and thank you for your help kind sir) and my human shuffleboard puck is trying to convince him not to do that. He wanders over to me and before I can say anything he asks me to just drive away. Over and over he tries to get me to leave the scene.

Anyway, long story short, the cops come, they quickly make sense of the situation, ask me if I want to file a report against the nitwit (I decline), load him into a squad car to get him home and send me on my way.

I really want to believe that this was not planned by evil traffic lights. I really do. I want to be friends with them. Then again, I wanted this new year not to suck. Such is life. Mine anyway.

Anyone know a good auto body shop that works cheap?