I am still geek, hear me roar even louder

The first of two annual Horrorfind conventions was held this weekend and man was it awesome. For the uninitiated, Horrorfind is a horror convention (an aside for any passersby that just read that and started to tilt their head back to better look down their noses at all things horror and the people that enjoy it, fuck you, go very far away and fuck yourself there) that features authors, actors, directors, art shows, an enormous dealer room, movie screenings and a bunch of other cool stuff. Normally they just have one in August but this year they're having two. Listen to my complete lack of complaint. Anyway, here's how I spent the last two days.

Day 1

I was primarily concerned with spending a lot of money in the dealer room, meeting some writers and trying to catch a screening or two until it was time for the panel discussion that night, so into the dealer room I went.

Cool stuff here, cool stuff there, holy shit a Troma Booth! stupid crap there, cool stuff, why is this table selling so much Brian Lumley stuff when he's a worthless hack thief who will burn in hell when he dies which will hopefully be soon? I gave this booth the evil eye and moved on.

I ended up at the joint booth of Borderlands Press and Cemetery Dance Publications. Two great tastes that make my pants get tight together. Borderlands is a highly respected small press and is run by Thomas Monteleone who is also a damn fine writer and a great guy besides. I've talked to him before and he's the kind of guy you want to be friends with. Wait a minute, says I, is that...that's F. Paul Wilson sitting in the booth with him. (There were four writers that I was dying to see there, Monteleone, Wilson, Jack Ketchum and Ramsey Campbell. Campbell had to cancel at the very last minute because of some passport trouble and I was heartbroken) F. Paul Wilson created Repairman Jack which makes him better than you and everyone you know combined. Internally I screamed like a little girl.

I scanned the tables, talked to the frabjabulous writers about this and that for a good long time and spent a small fortune on a ton of books. I love the small presses. I was well pleased. Well pleased indeed. It found a way to get better.

I wandered over to the celebrities room and zeroed in on Jack Ketchum. I'd never met him before and didn't know what to expect. Talk about a guy you want to be friends with. I want to hang out with him everyday. We talked about books (his and others), movies (his and others), TV shows (we have very similar taste), book covers, other writers and at one point we spotted Adrienne Barbeau across the room and determined that she is still hot and has probably made a deal with the forces of darkness to stay that way for so long. I talked to him for twenty minutes or more, bought some of his stuff that is very very hard to find, made one final fanboy gush in his direction and left to make my way around the rest of the room. I saw numerous people that made my geek gland pulse. After this it was time to head upstairs.

The screening room ran Friday the 13th I, II and VII. Fun and a good time was had by all and sundry. It was time for the panel discussion! Yay!

I went into the panel room and found a weird kind of thing in progress. Some very small time writers and some fans were in there doing their thing and having a blast. Everyone was helping themselves to the big bottle of Captain Morgan on the table. This wrapped up and the room was set up for the panel discussion (The Pros and Cons of Writing Awards). A HUGE bottle of Wild Turkey materialized from somewhere and was liberally distributed to everyone that held out a cup. The panel members arrived and sat down (the three authors I mentioned before, all multiple award winners, a newish mid-level writer that had been nominated for two awards and one brand new writer who found herself currently up for best first novel from the HWA) and they too dove into the Wild Turkey. They made a rule that everyone that came in the door after that moment had to take a shot as punishment for their lateness. Everyone did a shot to celebrate this ruling.

The panel was lively to say the very least. As a fan I found the discussion fascinating but I won't bore you with the details. Suffice to say that it was very informative and, long story short, most of them consider the awards themselves somewhat toxic at best because of the way all the organizations act behind the scenes but acknowledge that it will drive sales among casual readers. There were no casual readers in that room and most of us don't put a whole lot of significance on them either.

Best off topic exchange:

F. Paul Wilson: Am I the only one here that didn't fuck Anna Nicole Smith?

Jack Ketchum: I didn't, she was never my type. She is now...

Best not really on topic thing but it contained the word "panel" so it counts:

An audience member, having had WAY too much of the free booze, falls right out of her chair and crashes into the wall.

Jack Ketchum: Now it's a fucking panel! YEAH!

After an hour and change the panel ended and everyone either went to the bar or found their way home.

Day 2

Not as eventful as day 1 but still amazing from a fan's perspective. I ended up back at the Borderlands/CD booth and bought a couple more things and talked to Thomas Monteleone about a few more things, most notably a "boot camp" he runs every year for aspiring writers. Then it was back upstairs to the screening room until it was time for the readings to start.

Today's early feature was Pet Sematary.

After this it was back to the panel room for each author's hour of readings. Thomas Monteleone read a wonderfully weird tale called The Wager. F. Paul Wilson read a throwback to the old pulps which he nailed perfectly. Jack Ketchum read a short which was much more subtle than the stuff he's famous for and it was very good. After this he did an examination of opening from four of his own works, reading and then talking about the different ways someone can open a tale. Grabbing a reading straight off the bat is extremely important to him (he uses this method to test books he's never heard of) and he is able to do it in a wide variety of ways. I was in fan heaven.

After this there was nothing to do but ride the wave of bliss out of there and hope that the August edition will be just as fantastic as this one was.