This weekend was finally time for TacoCon. Has the world ever before known such a level of awesome? No. No it has not.
On the way down I got a speeding ticket which a lesser man would have taken as a bad omen. I knew better. As I approached the land of Yay I saw an actual omen and it was good. A sign announced that I was drawing ever closer to Zebulon.
Zebulon.
As I got closer to it I was filled with more and more cheer until I finally crossed into it and erupted with a call of, "ZEBULON! WOOOOOOOT!!
Ah sweet Zebulon.
Finally I arrive at the House of Taco and skip through an imaginary field of posies up to the door. I have traveled far. Grant me access! Taco and fett have started merry making without me but I'm here now! Let us begin in earnest. I am also greeted at the door by Taco's daughter who instantly launches into a song and dance routine that is easily one the greatest things I have ever laid eyes on. These kids are destined to take our places at the top of Awesome Mountain. We set about our busy schedule of hanging out, drinking, talking, telling stories and being gods among men. We are successful on all counts.
So day 2 starts with lunch and then it's off to the fair. That's right, we're going to see some goats. Why goats, you ask? Why the hell not? More talking and general awesomnosity on the trip over and then we arrive and the levels of Pure Yay go off the charts. I know we're in for it when as soon as we're through the gates an announcement comes on inviting us to try some famous biscuits and "Get some south in your mouth!" The three of us stopped in our tracks as one person and turned to look at each other. No one else around us reacted to it at all. Nothing. These people live in the middle of comedy gold and have no appreciation of it. Many things will change once we establish our empire in Zebulon.
Have you ever seen three grown men wander around several buildings worth of goat pens laughing harder and harder as they go until finally they're leaning against walls in order to stay upright? Let me tell you, no one has EVER appreciated goats on as many levels as we did. The goats, the lolspeak, the jokes...sweet baby Jesus I damn near ruptured something. On the car ride back to the house I said maybe 10 words and the entire rest of the time I was laughing. I haven't laughed that hard or that long since...I don't remember ever doing it before actually. By the time we got to the house my ribs and face hurt like I had taken a beating. I loved it.
Still wiping away the tears of painful laughter we go in and Larry's here! Yay! We get all wound up again and before we have a chance to wind down, Yay! Blue's here! Much fun is had recounting the goat adventures and then more talking and story telling and being better than other people. It's quite something how much better than other people we are. Even more than I originally thought. Who knew such a thing was possible?
Side note, Blue's husband is my hero. In one sentence, just one, he expertly and thoroughly mocked the entire room with perfect timing and delivery. I've never seen anything like it before and he is our new lord and master. A statue will be erected at once and offerings will follow shortly thereafter. Seriously, the skill with which he cut us down was godlike. We, of course, laughed at it and ourselves like a pack of loons. To sum up, Kev = omgyespleasemore.
Day three involved a sammich that tasted like sweet sweet love, a retro store with a million things in it I want, Mario Bros. guitar solo and the biggest used book store I've ever seen. Clearly I had fallen into some kind of paradise from which I never wanted to be parted.
Alas it could not last. I had to return to my home state and restore the balance of awesome. We're already making plans for next year (with possible smaller events between) and I still want some shirts made, damn it!
And now I leave you with a short list of out of context quotes from the weekend:
You're doing it wrong!
Hang on, I think invisible goat is invisible.
Good people of Lizard Lick, we come in peace!
Was he a Bears fan?
Look at my aliens.
It's a METAPHOR!
You're so dreamy!
I brought a tarp and some oil.
7 comments:
Dear Sweet Zombie Jesus, TacoCon was fun. I hurt a muscle in my back laughing. Know how you do that? Laughing way too fucking hard for way too fucking long.
Regarding quotes, you mustn't forget "That ain't sweet Georgia tea."
Ok, I just finished my blog post which also included a list of out of context quotes, and I had no idea you were doing the same thing. That is how awesome we are.
I will not be satisfied until we have TacoCon '08 shirts printed up for next year, with "The Cool Kids at the Back of the Short Bus" on it. And a goat. And a list of tour dates, including Zebulon and Lizard Lick.
Awesome post, I'm so jealous... I'm sure the summers burn hard and bright... in Zebulon.
Seriously, though: Why goats??
Because the goats were there and we are awesome. In our hands the goats were elevated to comedy gold. You kinda had to be there but not really. Just imagine us and then drop us into a goat pen. Just like that.
Also:
ZEBULON!!
WAY TO DODGE MY SHINS HATE QUESTIONING, GOAT MAN!
Booooooooooooooooooooooo!
...::sighs::
I have turned from electrogirl into an actual beaming stream of white light recently, bouncing around the island of manhattan at speeds man can't comprehend. And in my travels these past few weeks, I had come to realize a tiny something missing...
I had forgotten to check your blog.
Now that I have, I feel complete in a way that...will only last a mere few hours (okay minutes, sssseconds) until I long for more reading material!
Sensational post my friend. I'm jealous also. But...not so much as Damo, I imagine, considering I actually live on the same continent as you lot and could very well show up to this TacoCon festival of awesome, pending an invite of course ;)
I would have dropped to my knees, writhing in a fit of hysterical laughter, had I heard the "Get Some South In Your Mouth". And then, of course, I woulda gotten to it.
IT'S A METAPHOR, BLUE!
Post a Comment