I'm looking at you, London...

A long time back Google put out a cool little thing, shocking I know, that a few of us decided to use for shits and giggles. It was Google Analytics. You use it to track traffic on your site and see who is looking and how they're looking and so on and so forth. We tooled around with it for a while and then more or less forgot about it. It's a great tool but our blogs and such don't really have enough traffic to need constant tracking.

Anyway, I remembered that it was there and went to check it. Most people that visit here use Firefox and have cable, no surprises there. Most visits come from the U.S. and from 38 total countries so far, that's pretty cool. Hmmm...what's this, the keywords that people plugged in that brought them here. This should be good for a laugh or three.

OK, let's see here, we have quite a few about the Arizona Tea label. Maybe I'm not the only one that noticed it has a fucking slave on it. Searches for books and movies and music and shows and comics that I've mentioned. Nothing strange there. Let's look a little deeper.

Thagatha photos. I don't know what that means.

Monica Bellucci chocolate. Nothing wrong with that, brother.

Things in fives. That makes sense.

Fuking in stoking. I uh, I don't know what you're trying to say to me but I don't think I like it.

Everything but your underwear. Hahaha. Good times.

Take off your socks. No. No I will not.

Take off my socks. I don't even know you!

Real torture porn. What. The. Fuck.

Vulnerable naked man. Taco?

Celebrity fishing. Really, dude? Really?

Clothes socks off gyno. Is it wrong that that one turns me on a little?

Cinemax late night hot girls. But that one doesn't. It's sad that you can't commit and search for actual porn.

Everything that got to with devil. I'm sorry, what?

Fucking I stoking. First in stoking and now I stoking? Who are you!? What are you trying to tell me!!??

Evil master of suction. I give up. You found me.

Grimmstail. Look out Grimmy, someone's looking for you.

Excuses not to take off socks. ...ew.

Gyno gown socks off. What is it with you people and socks? Seriously?

Hate engine. Mine is custom. Get your own.

He's stoking me. I don't even want to know what the hell was going on there.

How many stuff things are there. Dude. SO many!

How to use a urinal without showing your junk. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Don't be ashamed of your tiny weiner! Show it with pride!

lolgoats. Fuck you! We invented that, motherfucker!

Maple syrup lubricant. First of all how did that lead here and second, eeeeeeewwwwww!

Zombi porn. Taco?

A dozen more things about socks...get a hobby people. For reals.

Obsessive compulsive scratch even number licking disorder-cat-dog. I don't have the words to describe the level at which I do NOT want to meet this person EVER.

Zebulon banner. Why didn't I think of that!? This is the best thing ever!

Stuff to do late night in Crystal Lake. Besides getting fucking killed you mean? Not much.

Taptaptap sex porn. What the fuck are you tapping on? And stay away from my precious sex porn!

Why are some scorpios so mean? AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

So yeah, people are weird. They're apparently a bunch of sock obsessed, porn wanting, pet licking, tiny dicked freaks that should never be allowed to interact with other folk. By other folk I mean me. Keep them away from me. I'm going to go hide everything I own and buy some more locks for the door.