Who dropped this other shoe here...oh, right

Five o'clock in the morning and I get a call telling me my truck's been stolen.  What fun.

Police tell me it's in the lot of a hotel by the airport.  Rosalita drives me over and the cops are waiting.  They say they got a call from hotel security and showed up to find a guy asleep at the wheel of my truck.  To make it clear, they have the stolen vehicle and the thief out cold inside it.

He got away.

Apparently he was a little guy and really fast.  Anyway I absorb this wonderful tidbit and check the inside.  There's a box in the backseat and I say, "That isn't mine".  They pull it out and it's a PS3, brand new.  Front seat has a backpack which ended up having a GPS thingy and other assorted shit in it.  The CD I had in the player was in the backseat so the little fucker had bad taste in music too.

Anyway I got it home and did some searching for repair places, waited for the one I picked to open, started my truck with a screwdriver, drove it over and got them to drive me back.  When we pull up there's a cop talking to a guy.  His car got broken into last night.  Busy little shitball, wasn't he?

To sum up, blargh.

If nothing else, me and Taco will definitely survive

Like most mornings, I stopped for a cup of coffee on the way to work.  I have a small (re: huge) caffeine addiction I need to feed pretty much all day everyday.  I don't know whether to quit caffeine right away since it almost got me killed or thank it for helping warn me about the end of the world.  I could go either way.

As I'm getting back into my vehicle with my cup o' love I hear a noise.  I look around and see him.  It.  Patient Zero in all his Romero-esque glory.  A fucking zombie.  Shuffling toward me, hands raised, mouth agape and ready to bite, he came.  I quickly remembered my rules and having no proper weapon with which to dispatch the walking dead I hustled into the safety of my vehicle, just in the nick of time mind you, and sped off.  

It was a close call but there's no time to feel good about my escape.  The end is well and truly fucking nigh.  Don't bother repenting, get armed and prepare for the war.

Of course it might have just been a mentally off homeless dude but why take chances?  I'll find out tomorrow when I stop for more java.  With a couple of dead blow hammers.  

Honkin' : Adjective 1. Giganimous

Stealing a page from Taco's playbook, I bring you an installment of COTD:

Tim:  Voltron or Ultraman in a fight?

Me:  Voltron, yo.  That sword beats all.

Tim:  But Ultraman knows space kung fu.

Me:  Voltron knows robot aikido.

Tim:  Outer space Steven Seagal?

Me:  With a honkin' sword.

Tim:  But no Chinese stars.

Me:  Indeed.  But the lion thing has to count for extra.

Tim:  Do they breathe fire?

Me:  No but one lives in a volcano like a DRAGON.

Tim:  But aren't volcano dwelling dragons evil?

Me:  Only by human standards.  By dragon standards that's just "Bob".

Tim:  Regular Bob or Silent Bob?

Me:  Depends on sleep cycle.

Tim:  Roger.  Over.