So I was thinking the other day about bodily functions. Specifically those that people feel they have to respond to with their words. I find the whole thing ridiculous and as such have come up with something to show exactly how ridiculous I think it is. Details below!
First you have burping which everyone does and everyone seems to think is rude and expects you to excuse yourself for. Utter nonsense. How is it rude to do something that EVERYONE does and that no one has any control over doing? It's like apologizing or expecting someone to apologize to you for having to pee. Oh I'm sorry! I had to go to the bathroom! How rude of me! It's idiocy. Admit it.
Next we have sneezing and everyone's desire to bless me and have me in turn bless them every time it happens. Talk about dumb. Look up all the various things that are put forward as the origin of it and none of them make a lick of sense in the 21st century. Are there really still people who think their souls get ejected from their bodies when they sneeze? How about that they spit out their sins or evil spirits and they have to be blessed lest they jump back in and so on and so on? Doing something because it's been done for a long time is a seriously fucking stupid reason to do anything let alone something that didn't make a whole lot of sense in the first place. And not to start a theological thing but what about those of us that don't want your or your god's blessing? Keep it to yourself, thanks.
Anyway, for the last few days I've been barking at people when they sneeze or after I burp. It's no more ridiculous than the stuff they expect and instead of irritating me for being illogical and stupid it makes me giggle because I do love a bit of light absurdity in my day when I can get it.
Woof.
6 comments:
I don't bless people when they sneeze. Sometimes a person will sneeze and then look at me. I won't say anything and the look in their eyes becomes plaintive. Almost desperate. That's when I laugh internally a hearty supervillian laugh.
I never used to remember to say "bless you" when people sneezed, but my wife's feelings are easily bruised when I forget, so now I've developed the habit. These are excellent points, however. So from now on, when someone (besides wifezilla) sneezes in my presence, I think I'm going to say, "Keep on sinnin', we're nearly there."
Bark at them. It'll be a thing.
Actually, with the sneezing thing, people in Holland say "gezondheid" (yes, almost like the German "gesundheit"), which I guess means you wish someone health. That actually does make some sense.
I've been trying to phase out "Bless You" with "Gesundheit" since I was in highschool, but I'll try and remember to bark from now on.
Bark the word Gesundheit. That just makes it all the more awesome.
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